I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
