I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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