he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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