you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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