I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
