I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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