I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
