god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
