we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
