Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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