i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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