every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
