last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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