the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
