i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
