Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
