i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
