chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
one might say we're banned from that church
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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