Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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