super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
