I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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