why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
