he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what day is it and did you see me today?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
