I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize