fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
