WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
