Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
