If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
then he tried to convert me to islam
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
