i permit you to call me
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
