Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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