don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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