Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize