return my video game
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
