It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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