I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize