I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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