just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Randomize
