Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
did i just pee glitter
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
