Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
