you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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