That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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