Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
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