The maid of honor just puked.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
