i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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