And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I currently don't understand fingers.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize