It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I lost the right to judge tonight
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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