I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
