So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
