I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
