Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
