how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
