IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize