just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
