i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just invented taco cereal.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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