The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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