; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
