Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That's intense
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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