Just fell off a train. Bad.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
