So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
