U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
