Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
