im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
